"She thought I would grow out of it": Wife mocks husband's hobbies despite him being openly passionate about gaming since the beginning of the relationship, says he's "overreacting" when he considers divorce over insults

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    AITA for asking for a divorce after my wife called me a loser and mocked my hobbies?

    She called my gaming room a "playroom for an overgrown teenager.'
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    My wife and I have been married for a few years, and overall, things have been fine, but recently, we had a huge argument that made me reconsider everything.
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    I've always been passionate about gaming, board games, and other hobbies that help me unwind. I have a dedicated room in our house for my setup, which I've put a lot of time and money into. My wife has never been into gaming, but I never thought it was an issue, until now.
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    During an argument about something completely unrelated, she snapped and called me a "loser" and a "manchild" for spending so much time and money on "childish" hobbies. She went on about how it's
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    embarrassing that I still play video games as an adult and how I should be focusing on "more important things." She even mocked my gaming room, calling it a "playroom for an overgrown teenager."
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    I was stunned. She had never expressed these feelings so openly before, and hearing her say it with such contempt really hit me. I asked if she had always felt this way, and she doubled down, saying she thought I would eventually "grow out of it."
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    That was the breaking point for me. I don't think I can be with someone who doesn't respect something that is such a big part of my life. It's not just about gaming, it's about the fact that she sees me as immature or a joke because of my hobbies.
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    I told her I wanted a divorce. Now, she's acting like I'm overreacting and that I'm throwing our marriage away over "just some words." Some of our friends think I'm making a rash decision, but I feel like this was more than just an insult, it was a glimpse into how she truly sees me.
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    AITA for deciding I don't want to be with someone who looks down on me like this? TL;DR: My wife called me a loser and a manchild for having a gaming room and hobbies she sees as childish. I told her I wanted a divorce, and now she says I'm overreacting. AITA?
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    Practical Toucan NTA. You already had these hobbies when you got married. It's unreasonable for her to expect you to 'grow out of it.' You marry the person you have, not the one you hope they'll become.
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    OkCryptographer8625 My therapist right after I broke off an engagement asked me if I would have been fine with my fiancé never changing. I told the therapist absolutely not. He begrudgingly said I made the right decision, because marriage isn't a way to change people - it's loving them where they are. NTA, and definitely a red flag.
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    smh2015smh Her comments reveal a lack of respect for you and your passions. It's concerning when a partner can't support what makes you happy. Marriage should be about uplifting each other, not belittling interests. You deserve someone who values you fully.
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    North_Department_794 I wish my first gf could read this, save us both going to hand back not the hobbies part lol the not trying to change your partner part lol
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    bored-panda55 I asked my husband once of if the reason he married me and not his ex was because I never tried to change him and accepted him for who he is his answer was yes.
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    bored-panda55 And gamers generally don't grow out of their hobbies. I am 49 with a husband who is in his 50s who still games. H II don't anymore due to carpal tunnel but I still am involved and watch him and our kid game. We have a friend who has been going to the same DND for two decades.
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    OP NTA - she didn't marry you, she married an idea of who she wanted you to be. Ask her why she wants to stay married to a loser (which you aren't). Would it be better if you spent your free time hanging out at bars and watching football?
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    avast2006 NTA - tell her you wouldn't dream of saddling her with a loser like yourself (that's sarcasm to get her to eat her words), and so that's why you're setting her free to find more of a man. It's giving her what she wants.
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    mondrager She thought she could change you. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
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    mondrager BTW. I'm 50 and I have a dedicated gaming rig and too many games to play. Love Insurgency Sandstorm. I need my little bit of escapism. I'll be 90 playing video games. FTW.
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    Ginger630 NTA! She didn't throw out some words. She purposely mocked you and your hobbies. She threw them in your face while arguing about something unrelated. She has no respect for you.
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    And I'm sure you had these hobbies before she was ever in your life. For her to say she hoped you'd grow out of them is ridiculous. If she didn't like them before you were married, she should have said something then.
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    coupl4nd She showed you who she was. Once you have that clarity that the person you're with is actually dark hearted it's over.
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    SignificantEcho79 Without knowing if it's a hobby or an addiction I'll go with NTA for now. My husband and I are both in our late 40's and enjoy gaming. A lot of adults do. I have a craft room which is my adult playroom. It includes crafting hobbies I have had since I was a child. I just have better and more expensive materials now.
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    Having hobbies doesn't make you a child. Insulting people for embracing activities they love and enjoy however does.
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    Snakeksssksss Nah, your whole relationship has been a lie. She doesn't like you as a person fundamentally. You should move on.
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    triblogcarol I'd like to hear the wife's side of the story. Do you have kids? Do you pitch in with the kids care? Do you do your fair share of house work?
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    My ex was a gamer and all he did was play games while I took care of kids and house and it caused allot of resentment. Any time I asked him for help, he said "ya, sure", but then hours later, he was still gaming.

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